How to Have a Date with Yourself

Photograph by Drif Riadh

Many say that “You should treat others the way you treat yourself”. This rings true but most times people treat themselves worse than they would ever treat others. They over criticize themselves for little things that others would forgive them for and blame themselves if anything in their lives does not go the way they want. You end up watching over what people say and losing the knowledge of what you actually want. To stop this toxic mental cycle, it is important to schedule quality “dates” for yourself because self-love and personal investments are unforgettable parts that can better oneself and opportunities for an individual to be more in tune with themselves.

Before you get to the actual date with yourself, you should first ask yourself why are you having a date with yourself so you don’t lose track of your motive or feel bad about yourself for not being on a date with a friend or a significant other. It is important to remember that the date you are having with yourself is in fact both beneficial for yourself and the people you will hang out with or date in the future because you are invested in a process of reflecting and getting to know yourself more.

Therefore, the key activities for a self-date should give you an opportunity to ask yourself who you are and what you want.

Meditate

Meditation is a fantastic activity to not only practice how to calm down from the chaos of the world but also to clear your mind to the point that you can only focus on your inner peace. Each inhale and exhale you take will make you feel at ease with the hardships you have encountered in both your work life and dating life. It will help you to be patient with yourself and aid you to tune in with your inner self. You can ask yourself, What is stressing you out? What can make you feel better? And ignore asking Have I watered the lawn today? Or does that person from my last date like me as much as I like them?

Take a Bath

When was the last time you immersed yourself in bubbles and warm water? Sure, you are busy and baths take a much longer time than showers but it is in fact the perfect activity to help you feel like you are within a long, gentle hug without actually needing another person to do that. Get some petals, light some candles, turn on your favorite TV show, make your favorite tea, drop some lavender essential oil in the water and you’ve got a wonderful date with yourself.

Read a Book

You might not agree with me on this one especially if you are already feeling over and done with the entirety of your academic years where you have written countless essays and research papers, but books are our friends. We are talking about self-help books here. By reading books such as Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habits, you will learn how to be more in control of your life by reading books by people who have developed a philosophy of their life that consists of constantly improving themselves. If the idea of reading a book on your table feels too much like work for you, why not just read it on your bed? Remember this book is for your happiness. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, do it.

Sing a Solo Karaoke

Yes, Karaokes are commonly meant for large group gatherings, and singing as a group creates and tightens the unity of people you hang out with. But I promise you, once you have witnessed the power of a solo Karaoke you will never forget it. It is just so cathartic. No one is judging you on which song you have picked, if your voice sounds angelic or stuffy, or if your breath might be smelling questionable because of the last food you ate. It is just yourself with a catalog of music that you love. You can feel the tremble at the top of your lungs as you sing the lyrics of your favorite song that you are too embarrassed to let anyone know about it. You can even try singing songs that you have never heard of before. The point is, it’s just a night with you, yourself, and music.

Watch a Movie

Watch a movie?! I know I’m talking about a thing that is typically meant for a romantic couple's date but who said that a movie with yourself can’t be romantic. Though watching a movie with a friend or a special someone is one of the most traditional bonding that exists, watching a movie with yourself can consist of a lot fewer worries. You don’t have to think about if the person who liked the movie liked it or hated it as much as you do and you don’t have to think about when you should hold your special someone’s hand, how long you should hold it, and if you should keep on holding it after you have exited the theater. Watching a movie with yourself or crying yourself to the most dramatic and heart-breaking soap drama or telenovela in your opinion wash the worries in your life away.

Take a Long Nap

Are you sleep-deprived just like the rest of the humans on your busiest workdays? Of course, you are. Don’t feel guilty that you can be using the time you are taking the long nap to do other productive activities, taking a nap is productive. There is no point in overworking yourself more after you have already reached your limit. No matter what’s at risk because of your long nap on the weekend, just do it. You need it for yourself to fuel up your body and feel energized. It will be a major help for the soreness your body has carried after sitting for too long throughout the day as well.

Massage

Schedule a massage appointment can be even more helpful than taking a long nap alone. Plus you can talk to your massage therapist for a long time and form a friendly relationship with them. Perhaps they will even give you a discount the next time you walk in. If you don’t like the massage therapist, feel free to get a new one. Massage is probably one of the most underrated activities to help yourself to be more in tune with your body. You will realize which spots feel sore, which spot feels itchy, and which spot feels tense. The next time you walk into the massage center, you will know exactly how to personify your massage routine. How refreshing and fun that would be.

Lastly, keep in mind that dating yourself and practicing self-care is not selfish. It is ok to spend time with yourself and say no to social events that you are not particularly interested in. Each decision you make that puts yourself first will make you become more assertive about what you are looking for and knowledgeable of what is good specifically for yourself.

Feel free to leave comments down below about how an ideal date would be for yourself.